Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Watching her eat just hurts me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
