he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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