I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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