I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
this just has baby written all over it
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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