he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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