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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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