Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize