Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize