sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
