He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
