Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize