Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
