Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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