I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
