I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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