bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
