my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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