Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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