escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
