Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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