Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
