Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
