It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
