I can't watch pbs sober anymore
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Sober January is a disaster.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
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