I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
