my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
