D3 body, D1 cock
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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