Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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