so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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