At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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