good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
