Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
