found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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