You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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