Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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