don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
