Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize