I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
