ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
