I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Your dad touched me again.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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