Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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