Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
