Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
