yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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