Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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