Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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