I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
