I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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