I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
