matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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