Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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