Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
