talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
