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• (601): View more from Mississippi

  Are you drinking alone?

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  no, i'm watching house

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  That doesn't count.

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  wtf, then i'm always alone

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• (813): View more from Florida

  I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?

  Fav 11 925 2931

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.

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• (778): View more from British Columbia

  No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking

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• (916): View more from California

  You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (305): View more from Florida

  He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach

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• (210): View more from Texas

  the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.

  Fav 1 120 72

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out

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