Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Randomize
