And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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