I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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