handjob tips. give me some.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
