i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
