Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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