dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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