he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
