I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
is wine microwaveable?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
