I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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